In Which I Bike Nine Miles and I Do Not Die

 This is the last weekend of Kittygirl's Spring Break. Kittygirl and Mr. Engineer spent most of the week in the Boston area, where Mr. Engineer's brother lives. Squirrelboy and I did not go because he's taking dual credit classes at the local community college and had their spring break two weeks ago. However, he does not have any Friday classes, so we headed up to visit my parents in Michigan for the weekend. 

Squirrelboy always brings his mountain bike to Michigan because there are some really great trails here. I have a bike I can use here because my parents got bikes to keep here for my family a few years ago. My brother and sister in law are here too. They live just a few hours north, and have been taking some time here to relax after camping in Florida for a month in the converted van.

My brother and sister in law decided to bike to the nearest town this afternoon and invited Squirrelboy to go with them. Then they invited me to go with them. I internally debated it for a few minutes. I tried to think of reasons not to go. I told them I didn't have a helmet here, but then Squirrelboy pointed out that Mr. Engineer keeps an extra helmet here and it would probably fit me. It did. I had a zoom call from 1-3 this afternoon, and I told them not to wait for me, but that I would go if they hadn't left yet when my call was done.

As you likely guessed given the title of this post, they had not left. I went on the bike ride. It's 4.5 miles each way on a bike trail into town, so 9 miles total. Everyone else was faster than me. My brother is older than I am, but in better shape. My sister in law is younger than I am and in better shape. Squirrelboy, of course, is much younger than I am and in much better shape. 

But I made it. I did not turn around and go back to the house after the second difficult hill, though I was sorely tempted to do so. I did have to walk my bike about 1/3 of the way home, every time there was anything resembling an uphill climb. But I made it. I didn't die. I didn't even hate it. I would not actually recommend a fitness plan that consists in occasional 30 minute walks on the treadmill followed up with a 9 mile bike ride. But I'm proud of myself for not backing down.

There are some lessons for life in this. Life is hard. It often feels like a constant uphill battle. This has been especially true the past two years, I think. But persevering through the hard things is worth it. 

Also, life isn't a race. There are going to be people who get through things faster than you. Parenting is not a race, and parenting kids with special needs is definitely not a race. There are some things our kids will do more slowly. There are some things our kids will never be able to do at all. Especially for kids with disabilities that are much more life limiting than the ones my kids have, that can feel super sucky and unfair. And it is.

But if you get stuck in feeling the unfairness you never get anywhere. You need to move forward, in whatever way works for you. Some people can just put their bike in a low gear and fly up the hills. Others will ride up more slowly. Some will get off halfway and walk their bike. Some, like I did a few times today, will start the hill walking their bike and still have to pause for a breather halfway up the hill.

Guess what? All of those ways get you to the top of the hill, and that's what matters. Life isn't a race. Parenting isn't a race. Sometimes all you can do is survive each day, and that's okay. And sometimes you can survive a nine mile bike ride, even though you're middle aged, out of shape, and overweight.