In Which I Share a Valentine Reflection: Love and Perseverance

 It's Valentine's Day again, and time for my Valentine homily/reflection. For the one or two people who might just happen across this post, let me share some background.

More than a quarter century ago (wow, that makes me sound really old), on a college campus far away I was a woefully single student looking forward to celebrating Valentine's Day as Black [insert whatever day of the week it was going to be here]. However, at the last minute, I had a change of heart and vowed to reclaim the day as a day to celebrate the love of family, of friends, and especially of God. I sent an email to some friends and family members to that effect. They liked it, and thus an annual tradition was born. It has since evolved into a reflection on my faith and life, with some kind of tie in to love and Valentine's Day.

Last year, when I titled my post "Love in the Time of Covid" it did not occur to me that a year later we would still be in the time of Covid. I won't go into my feelings about all the things that went wrong to put us in this place. The fact is we are here, and going into year three of the pandemic, the theme in my mind is perseverance. It's well past the time when we can use "unprecedented" to describe what we're living through. There are now nearly two years full of precedent. I think the appropriate word to transition to is perseverance.

For students, teachers, and school staff, this can mean persevering through yet another incredibly stressful school year. Most students are back in school in person now, but all is not well. Many of the teachers I know are feeling crushed under the burden of being responsible to enforce Covid safety measures (or, in contrast, crushed under the feeling of terror that there are none). Teachers are reportedly retiring early or otherwise leaving the profession in droves. Those that remain are persevering because of their love of their students and what their job used to be and hopefully can be again in the future. I don't know many healthcare workers personally, but I know they are suffering under a burden as well. 

My hope and prayer is that our love for our fellow human beings will cause those of us who are outside these and other high pressure professions to continue to persevere in the changes we have had to make to try to keep Covid in check so that someday (hopefully sooner rather than later, maybe this spring or summer?) we can come out of pandemic mode and move into the long term stage of living with Covid-19 not as a constant threat but as one of many endemic respiratory diseases that are part of our lives but don't control them. 

We're all incredibly tired of this pandemic, so it's no longer seen as fashionable or heroic to make the choice to avoid large indoor gatherings (let alone cancel them or move them online) or even wear a mask inside. We all just want to be done. The sad fact, however, is that wanting something to be over or even pretending it's over doesn't actually change the situation.

So, how am I tying this into Valentine's Day? Is this just a rant about Covid thinly disguised as my annual homily? Don't you worry, there's a point to all of this. I think that, pandemic or not, all love requires perseverance. Long term romantic relationships require perseverance. My husband and I have been married for almost 19 years. I love him at least as much as I did the day I married him, in some ways more. however that doesn't mean every day is perfect. Some days are downright bad. A successful marriage requires work and perseverance on the part of both partners.

The same holds true with my kids. My kids are amazing. It's incredible to see them turning into productive, wonderful human beings. However, there are plenty of times they're incredibly annoying or their needs are inconvenient. Just today I had to run home after dropping Squirrelboy off at his internship instead of heading straight to the grocery store so I could bring him pants (don't worry, he was wearing shorts, but long pants are required). Just as I was about to pull out of the driveway for the second time, I got a text from Kittygirl, who forgot to bring a mask to school. The school provides disposable masks if a student forgets, but she wanted one of the good masks from home. Both of these things cut into my morning and changed my plans, but I did it because my situation allows for that kind of flexibility and I love my kids, even when their forgetfulness inconveniences me. 

Our faith requires perseverance as well. Especially when the world is on fire and it often feels like your prayers are just bouncing off the ceiling, it's seriously tempting to just throw in the towel and assume none of it was true to begin with. When I'm in a valley like this (and I'm not at this moment to be clear), I'm thankful that I can look back on times when I witness God answer my prayers and felt His presence. A similar principal can apply in marriage, in parenting, in friendship, and in any relationship.

Yes, there are relationships that are toxic and relationships that are truly abusive and dangerous. Let me be clear that I am not advocating remembering the good times and persevering in an abusive relationship. However, in the case that your relationship (with a spouse, with a friend, with God) is simply in a slump, it's worthwhile to put in the work and persevere. 

Happy Valentine's Day! I hope you are able to celebrate love in some fashion today, whether it's the love you share with your romantic partner, with cherished friends, with your child(ren), or with God.