In Which Our Challenges Are NOT a Gift from God (And Not a Curse Either)

Sometimes it's interesting being a Christian in the diabetes community. Because diabetes can happen to anyone, there are, not surprisingly, parents from all walks of life that belong to diabetes parent Facebook groups. However, I always find myself paying particular attention to people who talk about the Christian faith in their posts and/or comments. Christians who post in these groups frequently fall into one of two camps. Camp 1 is what I like to call the Angry Doubter camp. These people are on the verge of losing their faith due to their child's diagnosis. They simply can't believe that a loving God would allow their child to get such a horrible disease and, therefore, God either doesn't exist or is a massive jerk who is not worthy of their worship. Camp 2 might be called the Divine Gift camp. They believe that there is a divine purpose behind their child's diagnosis, and that God gave diabetes to their particular child at this particular time to fulfill a particular purpose. Sometimes they even think they know what that purpose is. Which camp do I belong to? Neither, and in fact I find both equally troubling and weirdly similar in that they both begin with a flawed view of God and of God's purposes in the world. Let me tell you why.

The Angry Doubters seem to be completely unaware of the fact that, the moment before their child was diagnosed with diabetes, the world was full of suffering and evil. Somehow it didn't shake their faith the least little bit that there are girls being sold into sexual slavery, boys being trained as soldiers, storms destroying whole villages, or any of the other myriad tragedies and evils that happen in our fallen world every day. Yet the fact that their child was diagnosed with a chronic autoimmune condition with which many people have lived happily and successfully for decades and for which new and better treatments are in near constant development is simply too much for their faith to overcome. Have they been taught that God protects believers and will never let anything bad happen to them? If so, they've been taught wrong. The lives of the apostles and the martyrs of the early church should be enough to make it clear that God does not protect His children from all harm. However, since American Christianity is all too often found in an ahistorical vacuum, they might be unaware of this example. I can have a rational discussion with someone who wants to argue against the goodness or the existence of God based on the evil in the world. However, if your reason for leaving your faith is that that evil touched your own family, it was likely never much of a faith at all.

People in the Divine Gift camp, I think, make the opposite mistake.This is where my Calvinist friends are going to take issue with me. I don't think God looked down at my daughter, or any other person, and thought, "I'll give this one type 1 diabetes. It will be an incredible gift and she'll accomplish great things because of it." I also don't think God looks down on particular parents to be and determines that they are the best possible people to "bless" with a child with special needs of any kind. If we attribute these things as direct actions of God, where do we stop? Did God also give diabetes to the child of the mother in the Angry Doubter camp who has now abandoned whatever faith she had since her child's diagnosis? Did God give diabetes to the young adult who couldn't afford his insulin after going off his parents' insurance and died a month later? Is God pulling the trigger of every gun that kills an unarmed young Black man (or anyone at all)? Is God behind the wheel of every car that causes a fatal accident? Following along this track can lead to a very dangerous view of God.

Now, before you start preparing the fire to burn me at the stake as a heretic, listen to what I'm not saying. I'm not saying that it's not okay to be angry with God because your child has an incurable disease or for any other reason. You do not want to know how often I have raged at God for this reason and others. I find it incredibly unjust at times that our family was given the challenges we were given while other families seem to waltz through life with no serious problems. However, in the end, God is big enough to listen to my angry tirades and continue to be with me. In the end, I believe that God weeps with us over own tragedies and the tragedies of the world (big or small) and is with us when we're ready to get back up and move forward in this messy world. Someday God will bring a new heaven and a new earth. Kittygirl will have a new, perfect body. She will be able to feast at the heavenly banquet table without counting a single carb. In the meantime, God will be with her, with me, and with anyone else who calls on Him. I'm also not saying that God doesn't, at times, use our challenges to bless us and to bring glory to Himself. Our family has met some amazing people because of diabetes. It has made us stronger and made us more observant, conscientious parents. However, when it comes down to it, we could have learned the lessons we've learned in different ways and at different times if not for diabetes. We have allowed God to work in our lives through these challenges, but that doesn't mean we believe He ordained this particular set of challenges for us. It just means He's strong enough to bring redemption through them.